Divorce can be difficult however nice your spouse is. Yet, if they have shown themselves to be a narcissist, you are probably in for a rocky ride – especially if it is you who filed for divorce.
Narcissists hate to lose control over a person. You may have come to realize just how many ways they tried to control you during your marriage. You should expect them to do all they can to gain back that control over you while the divorce is going through.
Here are a few things to watch out for:
1. They start being nice
Maybe they tell you how sorry they are, or that they did not realize their actions were hurting you. They may promise they will change and be the kind of spouse you deserve. Remember, this is probably not the first time you have heard such things from them, and if they did not change before, then they are unlikely to do so now. They may well just be saying these things to wheedle their way back into your life so that they can then start exerting controlling behaviors over you once more.
2. They become even worse
Some narcissistic spouses will go completely in the opposite direction and become even nastier and more manipulative than before. They might threaten you with violence if you leave them or threaten to reveal your secrets to others.
3. They might use other people to get to you
If you share children, your spouse might try to manipulate them. They might tell the kids lies about you, such as that you don’t want to see them, or that you are going to leave them and go and live with a new partner and have a new set of kids.
Don’t take divorcing a narcissist lightly. Instead, get legal guidance from someone who has seen such behavior before and knows how to protect your interests in the divorce.